You Just Can’t Fix Stupid!

WillieWonkaNew York: In New York State, where they already have lots of gun control laws and law-abiding citizens are already effectively rendered defenseless; it seems criminals actually do get guns … dare I say it … ILLEGALLY!  And then, they actually commit crimes with them!  And … worse yet … they shoot police officers (like the 3 officers shot in two separate shooting incidents last night) with them!  So progressives want to create even MORE defenseless law-abiding citizens … by passing still more laws for criminals to ignore?

~You can’t fix stupid!

Nearly 30,000 New Laws in 2012:  It seems that the American Sheeple are in desperate need of regulation!  With the popular re-election of President Barack Obama, the Democratic Party has been able to harness the feverish desires of the American Sheeple for even greater implementation of Progressive doctrine. In the first year of his Presidency, Obama’s administration enacted 40,697 laws, not counting the thousands of helpful and necessary regulations enacted through his Czars and various administrative organs of the State.

These regulations and laws serve to free the American Sheeple from having to worry about making bad decisions that might actually have consequences. By blindly following the regulations set forth by the Obama administration, American Sheeple will not have to be concerned about making any decisions that prove to be inconvenient … or prevent them from receiving their fair share of other people’s money.

More regulation means safety and security, and security is the only real kind of prosperity that is worth having. The Obama government guarantees prosperity for all its citizens through the equitable redistribution of the hard-working man’s earned wealth to those who simply prefer to go on the public dole.

With so many new laws, 2013 is bound to be a year of great prosperity!  President Barack Obama is so confident in his new prosperity plan that he has returned to his estate in Hawaii for the second time in a month, signaling his confidence that America is blindly marching forward towards Socialism without any real impediment or opposition.

~ Nope … you really can’t fix stupid!


Some new’s worthy humor:

  • Hurricane Isaac: a preview of things to come if Republicans go through with their plan to deregulate weather.
  • Unregulated Americans  rampage and pillage following regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein’s resignation
  • White House confirms Obama has daughters and spoke of ‘sons’ merely out of gender-blindness: ‘We all know that sexual organs are a discriminatory social construct that must be deconstructed’.
  • Taliban revise burka policy after realizing uncovered women can do more damage to US military than suicide bombers.
  • Obama to Middle East flag burners: “You didn’t burn that, somebody else made that happen”.
  • Obama blames  previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics.
  • China’s Peoples Daily launches attack on New York Times in what State Dept classifies as “friendly fire” incident.
  • Jay Carney: Nat’l security leaks are proof that President is fulfilling promise of most open and transparent administration ever.
  • Study: If water boarding were a sexual preference it would be part of public school curriculum.
  • Democrats sought experienced Somali pirates to help launch “Pirate the Vote” campaign in battleground states.
  • Ohio elections: Obama promotes Somali pirate participation with promise of pre-paid propaganda parrot with each swiped ballot.
  • Canadian Cannibal admits to being  influenced by Occupy Wall Street chant ‘Eat the Rich’.
  • In addition to giving   your wedding gifts to Obama, you can now also write Obama into your will, family  trust, or grant him power of attorney over your estate – all through  innovative online service at
  • Children blame their parents in pro-Obama music video produced by the Menendez brothers.
  • Obama Administration reportedly runs food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named “Fat And Furious”
  • Obama apologizes to Muslim community for foiled Federal Reserve bomb plot, blames despicable Capital One credit card commercial, promises to arrest Alec Baldwin.
  • Dems claim their attacks on Haley, Palin, Ann Romney are not “War  on Conservative Women,” but rather “Domestic Feminist Contingency  Operation”.
  • Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed.
  • Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans.
  • Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory.
  • Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) sponsors House Resolution to have Mercury (Hg) removed from Periodic Chart as a means of fighting pollution, global warming.
  • Obama and Democrats alienate yet another loyal voter bloc: Necro-Americans.
  • Witness:  “The line at Chick-fil-A was so long, I thought Obamcare had already been  implemented.”
  • GM profits  plunge 41%; CEO to make desperate statement in favor of traditional marriage.
  • Proof of “God particle” found; ACLU files suit against astrophysicists.
  • Did you know? Dead plants and animals are an environmental tragedy; dead border patrol agents are just a statistic.

5 thoughts on “You Just Can’t Fix Stupid!”

  1. If there are fewer legally owned guns there are fewer guns you can steal. The only stupid here is the right wing stupid.

    1. Of course ….! That is why, according to the CIA fact book, the UK has over 6,000,000 illegal guns in the hands of criminals despite banning handguns in 1979. P.S. Why is it liberals always resort to name calling?

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